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From: standishep@atf.gov.us
To: dunnejd@atf.gov.us, wilmingtonb@atf.gov.us,
larabeec@atf.gov.us,
sanchezj@atf.gov.us,
jacksonn@atf.gov.us, tannerv@atf.gov.us
,
Subject: Fwd: Getting to know you
Okay, here's what you're supposed to do. Copy (not forward) this entire
e-mail and paste it onto a new mail that you will send. Change all the
answers so they apply to you. Then, send this to a whole bunch of people
you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you
will get a pile of get-to-know e-mails!
You'll learn a lot of little known (and sometimes scary) facts about
your friends! Remember to send yours back to the person who sent it to
you! READY?
NAME: Ezra P. Standish (I have no intention of sharing said
initial with anyone. If y'all want to know about an initial, shall
we ask Mr. Wilmington? Talk about your secrets.)
SEX: Male. (and I do thank you, Mr. Wilmington,
for restraining yourself.)
HOME: A home is something altogether different than a domicile. My
domicile - charming two story townhouse My home - Denver
HEIGHT: Adequate, any taller and I simply would not fit into my
wardrobe.
And that would be a shame.
EYES: Green
HAIR: Soft chestnut
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Horatio Hornblower, The
Scarlet Pimpernel, and Les Miserables. All on A&E (and
no, Buck. That doesn't stand for "Ammo & Eats")
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Well, it had been blank until someone
took a bottle of correction fluid to it. I believe it's supposed
to be a smiley face, only it has a rather Picasso-esque quality.
(That little brush is hard to manipulate, isn't it Buck?)
FAVORITE MAGAZINE: Architectural Digest and
Kiplinger's (Yes, I know it's another name now, but it will always be
Kiplinger's.)
FAVORITE SMELL: A neat, perfect snifter of rare Scottish Brandy,
bottled in 1783. I was fortunate enough to partake of some many
years ago. It is not something I will ever forget.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Fear. Fear of being inadequate,
fear of losing, fear of forgetting, fear of the past and of the future.
Yes, just Fear.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Being wanted and cared-for
without condition.
THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Do we have weekends? I
thought our assignments precluded such luxuries. Given
that, I would gladly assist Mr. Wilmington and Mr. Dunne in taking over
the world - for a fair share.
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: Les Miserables
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING?
Perhaps today would be a nice day to go in early. Then I
rolled over and hit the 'snooze' button.
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? No. (And before you even
try, Mr. Wilmington, I assure you that the few weeks spent in
Space Camp as a youngster were well worth it. There is a lovely
contraption that spins one like a gyroscope. Gyroscope - look it
up.)
ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? : Not with someone
screaming in your ear, they are not. And I will not mention what
kind of creasing they put into a Brione suit with those
over-the-shoulder harnesses. Then again, whose idea was it to take
Vin to an amusement park for his birthday? Just a suggestion, but
the next time we decide on a "surprise" party, could we
designate a dress code and give more information than "be in the
garage early."
PEN OR PENCIL? : I have a matching set from Tiffany's that
an ex-paramour bestowed up me. Whichever one I pull out of my
pocket at the time.
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? : Which phone?
The one at home has caller ID, so I might not even pick it up.
And depending on which cover I choose and the situation, it could be
between one and five for the cell phone. If we're off duty,
though, and the cell rings, you can be assured I'll answer within the
first 10 rings. After that, the voicemail picks up.
FAVORITE FOODS: Anything N'awlins can create.
Alright, I profess an
unusual predilection for Crawfish Etoufe, grilled stuffed catfish, and
Filet Mignon ala Emeril. And the odd serving of Mr.
Larabee's barbeque ribs.
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? Absence makes the heart grow
fonder. As long as she's absent, I'm fond of her.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? Define 'convicted.'
If it means persecuted by gossip and humiliated by rumor without benefit
of defense from one's supposed friends, compounded by a complete lack of
administrative investigation or support in spite of insufficient
evidence and suspicious circumstances - then yes.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? What are we talking about here?
Coffee? Ice Cream? Mousse? Cheesecake? I'm sure Mr.
Wilmington if figuring edible body paint. I cannot answer this question
without more specifics.
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? Both, in proportionate amounts.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? Yes. I believe I'm quite good at
it. All those years spent at the Le Mans school was well worth
Mother's money.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? Perhaps, at least they
don't deflate like Mr. Wilmington's bedmates.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Pet's require
home care. I am rarely home, there for they would suffer.
I simply cannot have that on my conscience.
IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A jaguar.
IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? Samuel
Clemens or Ernest Hemmingway.
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Said Scottish Brandy mentioned before.
It made quite a lasting impression on me, as you can tell.
WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? "No Parking."
EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Only if prepared correctly. When
cooked, they should be a pleasant and even green color, slightly
resistant to the teeth at first, but pleasantly tender inside.
Raw broccoli stems are not fit for human consumption. I do
not care how many vitamins they have, Mr. Jackson. Neither my mother nor
my nanny could get me to eat them, I don't think a lecture from you will
do the trick.
GUYS-IF A GIRL ASKED FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK, WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO
HER? Ask me the next time I'm wearing one of Mr. Wilmington's
shirts. (And no, I don't think it was funny to give me the 'holey' shirt
because it was Sunday.)
GIRLS-WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT? I believe Mr.
Tanner's assessment in this area is quite accurate. Most women
will take anything they can.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? The man
who finally puts Regis Philbin out of our misery. That, or being
paid to blow up annoying children's television characters like those
four little bent-head things from England or the large purple dinosaur
that isn't loved, even if he thinks he is.
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Contrary
to popular thought, purple would NOT look good in my hair.
Although, green would match some of my suits. I am kidding, Mr.
Tanner, just KIDDING.
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Who's to say I don't have one already?
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes.
DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING. Having attended several dozen,
I can assure you that a man does NOT dream of a wedding. He has
nightmares. (Vin - I might be persuaded to emulate Mr. Presley in
his younger years, but I will have nothing to do with a white, polyester
jumpsuit! So, Mr. Tanner? Just WHO is your bride to
be? I'm certain Angie and Lexi will be MOST anxious to meet her.
Look at how wonderful they were to Josephine. What say you on
that, Mr. Wilmington?)
WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Only a select few know, and
will not divulge my secrets. I will tell you that every frame is
protected by a security system even Hudson Hawk would be hard pressed to
bypass. (Speaking of Mr. Hawk, have you heard from him lately,
Josiah? I rather enjoyed his taste in music and art and coffee.)
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? half full these days.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE? There's not a one made that I
will consume.
ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Ambidextrous
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Yes.
(And that brings up an interesting question. Just WHO taught Mr.
Wilmington how to change the keyboard settings and where to download
Japanese characters? I don't mind, since I can read
Japanese, but Chris was rather upset with the report I turned in.
In my defense, I DID offer to translate, Mr. Larabee.)
IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A hammock.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Why? What is Mr. Wilmington missing
now?
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? Not so long ago, one. But I
believe the number Seven is growing on me.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? A limousine.
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? An Austin-Healy or Deusenberg
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? World Poker Championships from Las Vegas.
That or Ladies Billiards.
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU. I'm not
sure who sent which one first and if I say one nice thing about one of
you, the rest will want something nice said about them, too. Since
I do not have time to compliment each of you, I will compliment all of
you. Y'all make my days more meaningful and I appreciate you all
the more for it.
OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO
IT. My money's on Mr. Larabee. Anyone else care
to wager?
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