| Archivist's Note: I loved the story, by Heidi, that originated this
little snippet. It's called Recertification, and then there's the
sequel, Retribution, Seven
Style. Heidi also has an Ezra piece called
Runaway Train.
Author's Note: Hello!
I had fun writing the first one so I thought I would try and write one
for an OFC in my world.
She's a Training Instructor assigned to the ATF offices in Denver and
responsible for teaching the Seven and their co-workers. However,
the Seven don't make it easy for her and she antagonizes them every
chance she gets.
When I ran the idea by Cin, she and I decided to make this a joint
effort.
From: harper@trainingdenver@atf.gov.us
To: wilmingtonb@atf.gov.us, larabeec@atf.gov.us,
sanchezj@atf.gov.us, dunnejd@atf.gov.us,
standishep@atf.gov.us, jacksonn@atf.gov.us,
tannerv@atf.gov.us
Cc: wellesc@denver.edu, mtravis@clarion.net
Subject: Getting to know you
Okay, here's what you're supposed to do. Copy (not forward) this entire
e-mail and paste it onto a new mail that you will send.
Change all the answers so they apply to you. Then, send this to a whole
bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. The
theory is that you will get a pile of get-to-know e-mails!
You'll learn a lot of little known (and sometimes scary) facts about
your friends! Remember to send yours back to the person who sent it to
you! READY?
NAME: Instructor Harper
SEX: Female, *Human*, no matter what you are told.
HOME: Currently Moving.
HEIGHT: Tall Enough.
EYES: Hazel.
HAIR: Auburn.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Headline News, CNN, and Forensic
Science on Discovery.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Teachers Rule. Men Drool.
FAVORITE MAGAZINE: Wall Street Journal, Money, Forbes
FAVORITE SMELL: The Irish Countryside or Napalm in the morning
after flaming my latest class of less than brilliant students.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: I am not allowed to discuss it.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Being told something I taught saved a
life and/or made a difference or payoff for a perfectly executed
payback.
THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: My, we're nosy.
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: Riverdance. I'm Irish.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING?
I really don't want to think.
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? No.
ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? Yawn.
PEN OR PENCIL? Regulation ballpoint black pen. Anthing else is not
permitted.
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? As few as possible.
FAVORITE FOODS: Chocolate, Caffeine, Coffee, and lately I've developed a
strange taste for Jell-O.
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? Yes... and contrary to popular
opinion, I was not hatched.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? Convicted, no, but come close
to committing murder.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? No one touches my chocolate.
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? Both.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? Yes; I do some of my best thinking driving.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? No, but I have heard stories
about Agent Wilmington; perhaps someone should ask him. Something
about a slow leak?
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Seven well trained men waiting on me hand and foot but I'm not
mentioning any names.
IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? Lioness even
though I am already called a Harpy.
IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? My
great-grandmother, the Celt Priestess.
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Harp's from my father's pub.
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Born on a cusp, never fit into either,
so don't bother.
EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Who's daring me and how inebriated am
I?
GUYS-IF A GIRL ASKED FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK, WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO
HER? N/A
GIRLS-WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT? I might surprise you.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? HBIC... if
you don't know what that means, insert your favorite word for me in the
following: Head ????? In Charge.
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Depends on
my mood and the assignment.
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Wouldn't you like to know?
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? You wouldn't believe me and the truth
is distorted by hindsight and perception. What was may not be
anymore.
DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING. Nothing to dream about. Not getting
married. Ever.
WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? MC Escher prints, a
*BALTIMORE* Colts pennant, Baltimore Ravens pennant.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Depends on the day.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE? I like my drinks pure.
ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Ambidextrous.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Of course... the way
that it is taught in typing classes, not the hunt-and-peck or two-finger
method most men employ.
IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? Something that
makes a loud snipping noise and grown men cringe at the sound <eg>.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Nothing. Like I said, I'm moving.
And no, not someplace warm; I came from there.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? Number one... for me.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? A VW.
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? It runs, it's paid for, that's the
American dream.
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Rugby... nothing like a good scrum.
(Said by a former rugby queen).
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
Agent Sanchez is very kind to include me in this group activity even
though his motives are suspect, the big sneak. Agent Sanchez:
Cave ne ante ullas catapultas ambules. Tene lupum auribus!
For the Latin illiterate among us, that means: If I were you, I
would not walk in front of any catapults. Take the bull by the
horns!
OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO
IT. Since I have not seen any responses, I would have to guess
Agent Larabee because he does not like to share and should be working on
those folders I sent up to his office last month.
Endnote: Hope you got your thrills, boys. Now, lunch is over
and some of us have to work.
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