"WHO LEFT THE STOOL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLOODY REC. ROOM!!!!" I’d have gone and asked, but if I could do that then I wouldn’t have worried about it in the first place. Having a bullet smash my femur didn’t make for ease of mobility.

Finally getting over to the couch I eased down and propped my leg up on the coffee table. Grabbing the remote I started to flip through the channels thinking back on the last week. It had been. . . interesting.

Mom has left to help Maria sort out the mess in Spokane and things are pretty much back to normal. Except me. I’m going nuts. I’ve watched every single movie they have on video, except for a few Bobby keeps up in his room and I really don’ want to see those. I’ve driven Bishop nuts, bugging him to show me everything he can about the computers. Remy and Logan are avoiding me like the plague since I got mad at the two of them and started throwing things at them with a good level of accuracy. Xaviar is the only one who’s been putting up with me. And he’s only here half the time.

Actually, Jean and I have been spending more time together. She’d gotten a bad case of the flu and spent the first two days with me and mom in the infirmary together. Scott’s been worried sick, and has been hovering over her. When we managed to kick him out of the room, we kept each other company, playing cards, and picking out who had the best body on the soap operas.

Hank moved in a VCR after we started turning the volume down and making up our own dialogue. I had Carrie and Sammy both having Austin’s baby and Kristen and her various alter ego’s all marrying John Black and then he was then charged with polygamy.

But after a few days, Jean went back to the boat house, feeling marginally better and Mom was back on her feet. And I was left trying to interest Hank in a game of crazy eights. That not working, I settled on solitaire. Do you know how boring solitaire can get. After two days of me whining, he gave in, gave me a pair of crutches and told me to get lost.

Thanks to Forge, I was partially mobile. I’d avoided a full body cast, but I still had crutches. The cast itself was kinda neat actually, with a padded metal cage that actually was fused to the bone somehow. I didn’t want to know how. Pretty much, once the actual hole in my leg heals, I can also get rid of the crutches.

Well, there wasn’t really anything worth watching on TV. There was Melrose Place  (I hate Melrose Place) but that’s about it. The Sci Fi channel had some pathetic B movie that was so bad, after a few minutes, I changed the channel in disgust. Glancing at my watch I had another hour before Law and Order came on for the second time around on A&E. Damn.

I probably would have ended up begging someone to get some vids, but Jean beat me to it. She walked in with a bag full of stuff, sat down on the coach and invited me to the hen party.

"What in the world is a hen party?"

"Well, when I was a kid, my older sisters used to get fed up with their husbands taking off and leaving them with the kids, so they’d get together, kick the kids to bed, and do girl things. Somehow it ended up being dubbed a hen party and it stuck."

"It’s a really stupid name."

"You’d prefer girls' night wouldn’t you?"

"Well, yea."

"You are sadly lacking imagination."

"So what are we doing?"

"All those things that men find absolutely disgusting. Wax legs, talk about our period, eat chocolate, dish the current fashions, that sort of thing." Maybe I could plead illness?

"I can’t wax my legs, I’ve a cast on!"

"Not on both of them." Oh SHIT!

"Well, there’s no one else here and Hank was saying I had to take it easy."

"Actually, Hank gave his Okay, Betsy’s just finishing some stuff up with Charles and Storm and Rogue are picking up chocolate, potato chips and other essentials."

"You mean this is a regular occurrence?"

"Why do you think all the guys are strangely vacant?" Even Hank had gone out tonight, and I know Charles planned to spend the night in his room, catching up on sleep.

"Let’s not and say we did?"

"Oh come on, we only do this about once a year. It will be fun, just keep an open mind."

Didn’t somebody say that about Remy’s blackened catfish?

***

RRRRIIIIPP!!!!

"Ouch! Betsy how do you do this on your bikini line?" Orroro held up the strip of linen that held a fine sprinkling of black hair plastered on it.

"High pain thresh hold."

"Okay, I have a question for you guys." So far the evening had actually been fun. Except the wax part. I had a bare patch on my leg, Jean had a bruise forming on her shoulder and that was the end of that. "How do you do it with that hair."

I got four rather intense stares directed at me.

"Shesh you guys have a sick mind, I meant fight. I have enough trouble keeping this mop" I threaded a hand through my short bob that imeadiately fell back in my eyes, "in order and you guys look like you stepped out of a salon in the middle of a fight."

"Well, sugah." RRRRIIIIPP!!!!   "Ah usually end up throwin’ stuff and actual hand to hand happens so rarely it doesn’t get in tha way much" Rogue flipped a red strand over her shoulder. "Though, it’s getting’ to tha point Ah’m gonna cut it soon. Ah hate flickin’ it outa my bra."

"At least you don’t have to sit on it." The normally reserved Betsy had really let her hair down (figuratively speaking) and was in this with the rest of us. "I got it caught in the car door yesterday. Left a handful behind. Not to mention finding hairs in the weirdest places."

"Tell me about it. Scott had a fit when the shower drain clogged and he pulled out a wad of hair this thick." Jean had about an inch and a half between her fingers.

"Why don’t you cut it then?" I’ve always had short hair and never particularly ever had the desire for long.

"Do you know how hard it is to find a good hair dresser who doesn’t freak out over purple hair?"

"What about you Jean?" I reached over and snagged one of the chocolates from the box. Mmmm. Coffee cream.

"Well, Scott kind likes it falling on his face when we…" She was interrupted by a pillow in the face. She didn’t see it coming cause she was putting on another layer of wax. "Hey! Watch it."

"That’s way more than Ah evah wanted ta hear." Rogue stuffed a potato chip in her mouth, proud of getting the drop on Jean.

"Any way," A glare was directed at the smug figure dipping a stick into the bowl of wax. "To phrase it differently, Scott has always liked it, so I never cut it. And for the most part, I’ve kept it tied back as part of my costume."

"That’s another thing. What is it with you guys and spandex costumes?"

"Oh that goes way back. At least we have spandex now. Our first uniforms where polyester."

"I don’t wear Spandex." Orroro almost looked insulted.

"But it does have tha whole distraction thin’. ‘Specially Betsy."

"I have always wondered what was going through your mind when you designed that costume." Orroro placed a strip of linen over a layer of wax

"I inherited most of it and it’s easier to hit people looking at your chest than your face."

"What about you Orroro? Like long hair, hate, it?" I was poking at the white strip on my nose, checking to see if it was hard yet.

"I decided to cultivate a more cultured look and grew it out. The mohawk no longer suited me."

"You actually had a mohawk?" I started pealing off the hardened piece of a Biore strip.

"Yes, is that so hard to believe?"

"No, I just more imagined you as the tail type. This is really gross." The pore cleansing strips were my idea. I’d been watching the commercials for a while and wondered if they work. "Look at this."

I held the strip with pulled out black heads in Rogue’s face.

"That is gross. Gimme one o’ those, I wonder if they’d work on me." Rogue reached a latex gloved hand out for the box. She had her one pant leg rolled up, a strip of wax cooling on her leg.

"You have to wash your face first, or it won’t work to good."

Orroro reached out and grabbed the box after Rogue got up to wash her face.

"Will this work on foreheads?"

"I think so, just as long as you don’t have any fine hair there or anything." Storm followed Rogue to the bathroom. "Do you think I should grow my hair long?"

"I don’t know, you have good features and could if you want." Jean put a tentative finger on the wax on her leg, before ripping it off with a grimace. "I still think shaving is easier."

"But it doesn’t last as long."

"That’s why I have a full body suit and it’s also quicker. But I have to admit, it’s nice not to have worry about it for a while."

"I still think this looks ridicules." Orroro and Rogue had returned from the bathroom, Orroro trying to look at the pad on her forehead.

"That’s why we kick tha guys out ‘member?" Rogue poked at the white patch on her nose. "How long do we leave these thin’s on?"

"Till they’re hard, I believe the box said."

"About five minutes for mine, are you gonna rip that off or what."

Rogue reached down and casually pulled the strip off her leg. "Betta?"

"I still don’t get it. Grown women acting like this is a sleep over."

"It’s a tradition. Can’t knock tradition." Rogue plunked down beside me. "Ya know, we’re gonna have ta get ya a costume soon."

"Oh no you don’t, I’m not gonna go run around in spandex, thank you very much. I don’t have the figure for it. In fact I have no figure. Just straight up and down, no waist, no boobs, no butt."

Jean cut in. "You’re not that bad off. I didn’t have much to start out with either and look at me now. Last time Scott and I went out, he got in a fight with a bar fly making rude comments."

"No problems with self esteem in this place is there."

"Too many other things to worry about." Betsy had finished her legs and was rubbing them down with talc powder.

"How about something black? That’s always flattering."

"And would go with ya powers."

"How about red for her temper."

Thump "I heard that Betsy."

"So I gather by the pillow in my face. You guys should be more careful with that. Do you know how hard this wax is to get out of material?"

"What about body armor, you guys have shields, shadow walking, flying, yadda yadda, and there’s poor me." I knocked on the cage encasing my leg stretching out under the table. "What is it that Remy has?"

"Kinda like Kevlar. That’s a pretty good idea though. We could probably make something that’d fit under regular clothing. Would be hot though." Jean ripped off the last strip on her leg and stole the talc off of Betsy.

"How ‘bout dark green body armor? Is this thing dry yet?"

"Is it hard?"

"Ya."

"Peal it off from the sides then." Rogue reached up, pulled it off and then stared at it for a few seconds the conversation continuing around her.

"Well, the standard colors are Blue and Gold." Jean looked over at me for my reaction

"I thought that was yellow. Orroro, I think yours should be dry by now as well."

"This is really gross. That came off a ma nose!" Rogue scrunched up her nose and scratched the bridge. "Feels funny too."

"Does, doesn’t it." I’d had the same reaction.

"Actually it is yellow, but Hank thought we’d be more accepting if it was called gold." Orroro had pulled her own strip off and was looking at it. "That is very disgusting"

"How about purple?"

"Betsy, every time we need to come up with a color for something you say purple"

"I still think the royal purple mats wouldn’t have clashed with the blue tile in the bathroom."

"It’s more of an aqua color than blue an’ sugah, that would clash."

"I like dark colors best myself, since this is the outfit I’m gonna be in when the plaster my picture on CNN."

"You wanna mask?"

"Rogue, who was the last person to actually wear a mask, on any of the teams?" Jean threw the talc at her now that she was done with it.

"Wolverine does."

"Aside from Logan. Now there’s someone in need of a new costume."

"Fine than, wait a sec, Ah have an idea." She got up and flew out of the room returning a few seconds later with a small box.

"Not the nail polish, Scott hates anything but traditional colors, he still hasn’t forgiven me for the time I wore blue to match my costume."

"Not for that, Jubilee pretty much has a whole rainbow in here." Up ending the box on the floor, about forty different colors of nail polish rolled out. "This is tha color I was thinkin’ of." She held up a bottle with a dark green.

"Green? I suppose that’s not to bad."

"It even has a touch o’ blue in it."

Everyone started leaning over the pile pushing it around looking at the range of colors.

"How about Roman Romance?"

"Too purple."

"That’s purple?" Betsy grabbed it out of Storm’s hand and held it up to the light. She put a coat on one nail, looked at the grayish pale color, and put another coat on right away, this one darker and richer. "It needs a few coats, but I like it."

"Emerald I’lse?"

"Xyber?"

"What is that?" it was a nondescript metal gray. "No."

"Crescent moon?"

"Streets of NY?"

"Dakar Copper."

"Celebration?"

"Twilight?"

"Rhapsody."

"Brocade?"

"What ever happened to plain red?"

"Mint Julep?"

"Silver Plum?"

"Zodiac?"

"City Slick."

"Venetian Velvet?"

"That’s just black."

"No it’s not. It’s blue see?"

"Might as well be black."

After twenty minutes of this, we all had our nails done in various colors, but still hadn’t come up with a color for my costume.

"What about plain black? This is for body armor isn’t it?" I held out my hand to look at the Gunmetal Green polish I was putting on.

"How about blue metallic?" Orroro held out her hand to show off the dark, sparkly blue she had put the finishing touches on.

"I don’t want anything too flashy. Makes it harder to fade out."

"Ah still like the green. Maybe Ah could go for a darkah green on mine. Ah only have one uniform left that hasn’t been ripped to shreds." Rogue had taken the gloves off and was using the Emerald she first picked out.

"I think maybe a dark red might look good. Almost black."

"What no purple?" Betsy politely ignored Jeans remark.

"Kinda like the red in Robin’s costume on the Batman movies?"

"A little darker. Like dried blood."

"That’s gross. I will not wear anything that color." I think I went a few shades paler. Too many bad memories. "What’s your input Jean?" She was leaning over her toes, putting on a bright orange, the same color as her hair. She was more conservative on her hands, with a simple French manicure.

"I kinda like the dark blue, like Orroro, but make it really dark, and non reflective."

"Me too. But then why not just go for black?"

"Everybody goes for black, have a little imagination." Betsy reached over and tried to pick up a potato chip without messing up her nails.

"You could make the armor any color you want and then just throw whatever you want over top." Jean screwed on the lid of the polish and reached out for the top coat. "Who had the cape?"

"Who didn’t"

"What about a trench coat."

"Ovah body armor, how original."

"A skirt?"

"Over my dead body."

"A sash?"

"You did that for a while didn’t you, Jean"

"It was the eighties, what’d you expect."

"Enough! I’ll take the black blue armor, nonreflective."

"So what ya gonna call yaself then."

"Oh no you don’t, picking out a costume is bad enough. Besides, it doesn’t matter for a few more months in any case. I have to get out of this cast before I can do anything."

"Haven’t you even thought about it?"

"Well, yes, but. . . "

"Fess up, what ya got so far?"

"Uh-uh, not saying. Besides this is stupid. Why have code names?"

"Well, part of it is intimidation, as well as an indication of what type of mutant you are. In some cases at least." Betsy finally managed to repair the damage done by the potato chip and held her hand up for inspection.

"Charity don’t exactly strike terror in the hearts o’ evil doers now does it."

"So I go up to a burglar and say ‘Stop evil doer, I am the Semi-Invisible Woman.’ and they fall on their knees quivering in fear. I don’t think so." I even had my hands on my hips and my chin up when I said that. Betsy snorted, Rogue giggled and Orroro and Jean lost it completely.

"Didn’t Bobby say something like that once?"

"As a joke, ya." Jean wiped the moisture from her eyes, "But seriously, the main thing is so that people can call us something other than Hey You, while still allowing us the possibility of a real life."

"Okay, I’ll grant you that point." I reached over and popped another chocolate in my mouth.

"So what we gonna call ya then."

"I don’t know, the best I could come up with was the semi-invisible woman"

"Well, the Fantastic Four already kinda have that."

"I know, the Fader." Jean had her eyes half closed as she said that and her hands spread out in a dramatic gesture.

"That’s just corny."

"Kick-Butt Woman."

"I like Semi-Invisible better. And Kick-Butt Woman suits you better, Rogue"

"What about Camo?" We all stopped and looked at Betsy.

"Ah like it."

"So do I"

"Not bad."

"You know I think I could live with that." It actually wasn’t that bad. Beats Fader.

"And you could do this whole camouflage thing on your armor."

"We’re not going back to that again are we?"

***

Bobby snuck back down the hall, shushing Sam behind him.

"Ah don’t see what the big deal is."

"You weren’t here the last time they did this. They all had matching blue nail polish. And they took over the entire rec room. Hank got stuck in a patch of leg wax that fell on the floor. The patch took a month to grow in properly."

"Bobby, yer pullin’ ma leg."

"Okay, he didn’t loose a patch of fur, but he did get stuck to the floor."

"So why are we home early than?"

"Scott has me in for an early session. Again. And you’re supposed to be there too."

"Nice a’ ya to tell me ahead a’ time."

"Complain to Scott. He’s been banished to the boat house for the evening. Come on, I think it’s clear."

The two men crept down the hallway, past the open door of the rec room. The girls were all in circle giggling, and they could over hear snatches of their conversation.

"I swear, you’d think they could aim a little better, but nnnooooo, they have to piddle all over the place."

"Thank heavens they have to clean up their own bathroom. You couldn’t get me near there with a ten foot pole."

"It could be worse."

"How?"

"At least you don’t have to worry about the toilet seat not being down. No surprises in the middle of the night, falling in the toilet. Scott does that all the time."

"Bettah than sittin’ in a puddle"

"That is gross Rogue."

"Yah but true."

The two men quickly scuttled past, trying hard not to be noticed, wondering yet again, if women truly where from Venus.

"They always do this?" Sam looked over at Bobby, now that they were safety in the men’s wing.

"Every year, at some point or another. Last year Remy overheard them talking about male sopranos."

"I didn’t think guys sing that high."

"Not if they still want to be considered men they don’t" Sam lost a little color and quickly folded his arms and leaned a little forward.

"Tha’s cruel."

"Yup, now you know why everyone avoids this place like the plague when they do this."

***

"They gone?"

"Ya, I like that puddle bit Rogue. What are we gonna do on the next guys?" Jean sat back and threw a few smarties up in the air, spinning them around in an elaborate dance before letting them fall in her mouth.

"How about the Best Bod rating system again?" Betsy sat up and adjusted a pillow before grabbing a handful of chips.

"Nah, did that last year. Ah know, we should do tha Tampons Vs pads debate, that got Bobby going green a few years back."

"Do you guys always do that when they start to come home?" By this time we were sprawled all over the rec room is various positions of relaxation. I was on my stomach taking up the entire couch.

"Oh ya, that’s half the fun of making sure they all go out for the evening. We sat comparing the men in our lives and rating them on a scale from one to ten for their sexual prowess just before Scott and I got married." Jean was doing acrobatics with her smarties again. "You should have seen Logan and Remy’s face when we were doing the male soprano bit. Remy almost fainted when I mentioned bricks."

"What’s so bad about bricks?" I had some pretty good ideas on methods of castration, but never anything about bricks.

"Nothing provided you keep the thumb out of the way." Storm pantomimed slamming two bricks together, keeping her thumbs out.

"Oh that’s cruel."